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Wednesday, 11 Oct 2006

  1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
  2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
  3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization
  4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
  6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
  7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  9. If someone with multiple personalities and threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  10. Is there another word for synonym?
  11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
  12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? (LOVE this one!!)
  15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
  16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking?
  19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through ATMs?
  20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
  21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people
  23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
  24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
  26. If one member of a synchronized swim team drowns, do the rest drown too?
  27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
  28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
  30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
  31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
  32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
  34. Can an atheist get insurance coverage for acts of God

Tuesday, 26 Sep 2006

Here's a copy of an email I have just sent through to NTL. Am I being unreasonably harsh?

++ begin ++

Responding to yet another flyer offering the amazing NTL sevices, I visited your web site to see what is available. I followed your link to find out if my location is serviced by your cable network but the only option I was led to was the "sign me up" wizard. Excuse me, but I do not wish to go through that whole process without knowing first what is available to me.

This marketing approach is unusable.

Why do you CONSTANTLY badger me with these insane money-wasting propositions?

Get your process right or stop writing to me.

Without respect,

-James Collett.
++ end ++

UPDATE 03 Oct 2006
It's been a week and guess what? - no reply nor even a response from NTL. Imagine my surprise.

UPDATE 11 Oct 2006
It's been another week and still no word from NTL. I'm sure they are just working through a backlog....

UPDATE 20 Oct 2006
Still no response. But they have sent me more junk mail encouraging me to join up to their Cable service.

UPDATE 23 Nov 2006
Still no response. But guess what! - yet more junk mail has arrived encouraging me to join up to their Cable service.

Sunday, 9 Jul 2006

I have one of these KVM switches from Belkin - full model description:-

Belkin F1DB104P OmniView E Series 4-Port KVM Switch PS/2 Platform

I experience a ridiculous problem when I have to power down my machines, or if - say - the power goes out. One of them consistently does not come back up with the mouse pointer working and it is not a problem if I run the PC with a dedicated mouse. To get a satisfactory connection I have to go through the whole connect-up procedure each time, scrabbling round the back of the PC unplugging and replugging cables.

Belkin admitted to me that there are certain "earthing" problems with these devices and sent me a bizarre workaround which required me to butcher a cable. Sod that!

The point of the KVM was to make my life easier not harder. This just makes me insanely cross. I'll never again buy a KVM switch from Belkin.

And I want you to know.

Thursday, 1 Jun 2006

A copy of my note to Brother UK follows:-

Sirs,

I am sure this message has been routed to the wrong department but this is a consequnce of the inadequacy of the options provided in your online form.

I wish to bring to your attention my full displeasure with my experience of the Brother MFC3820CN network ready all-in-one printer.

Perhaps it's not a surprise that I was unable to use the appropriate drop-down on your online form to report this, since the model is not even listed. That's how much support you offer to a machine that is not the latest off the production line.

I bought one of these for my small buisness about 13 or 14 months ago. It was never the best quality printer but I expected and accepted no better since it was not very expensive. Plus the device was shipped with deficient device driver software for XP SP2 (admitted by your tech support function), but I put up with that too.

However, in the last couple of months the printer started has been failing intermittently by dropping various parts of the colour mix when printing. And now it will barely print at all. So now I have a very expensive scanner.

The printer alerted me to alleged low ink levels, so I purchased brand new Brother-branded inks for in excess of forty quid. Guess what? - no improvement.

I called your support number and was talked through the procedure for power cleaning the device but this did not work. It would appear that the print head has died for no good reason. It's not as if I use this printer to capacity.

They gave me then the number of a local company that services printers, since the printer was now out of any warrantee cover period. How handy was that?

Of course, the service company want a £35 inspection fee after which they would quote me a repair cost. But given that the likely problem is a dead print head and a replacement would cost upwards of £70, I'd be looking at paying the original cost again for my printer to work.

This means that ecomically the best thing for me to do is add yet further toxic waste to the environment by binning this printer and purchasing a new one. Do you think I feel inclined to purchase a Brother printer this time round?

It also means that I have wasted £40 in inks because the stupid device gave me rubbish information. Thanks.

I think this all stinks - the crummy device driver issue, the convenient failure just as the warrantee period expired, the totally irresponsible waste consequence, the extra time I have to spend getting rid of this unit and sourcing a new printer.

If Brother had advertised that the machine was cheap because it was crap then I would have known what I was taking on. I would have gladly paid double the price to have a device work properly and for a decent lifetime. But instead you chuck out near-rubbish which becomes real rubbish just months later.

I will be adding a copy of this note to my personal blog which is linked from my company's web site, and I will update it with the response that I receive from you, if any.

Regards,

-James Collett.


*** UPDATE circa 12 June 2006 ***

Good news: Brother UK offered to collect the printer and undertake an assessment of its fault free of charge. In fact they did more than this and replaced it with a factory refurbished model of a very similar specification.

So hats off to Brother UK! I am very impressed.

Now it's just fingers crossed that this new model lasts a while.

Friday, 5 May 2006

I have bought various bits of networking gear from NickKnows.com in the past. They had a what appeared to be a pretty slick operation - nice, fully functional web site with online ordering, customer loyalty card, tech supportticketing system, professional call management, the full shooting match.

So imagine my surprise when I clicked on to their web site, at

http://www.nickknows.com

and found that the company has ceased trading.

NEWS 09 July 2006

Here's an enormously funny development. The holding page that is now at NickKnows.com has changed from an announcement that the company has closed to an advert offering the various "Nick Knows" brand domain names for sale. There must be 20 or so names on offer and they want upwards of �18,000 for the job lot.

Would you want to spend any money, let alone �18,000, for a bunch of defunct domain names? Or have I missed something?

NEWS 25 October 2006

Have I been unnecessarily cruel or harsh? Probably, so I apologise.

I saw and then accidentally deleted a comment here responding to my post above and complaining about me having a pop at the guys from Nick Knows. The deletion was done while I hurriedly removed e 50 or so spam posts on this thread and sadly I did not read the whole article before I wiped it.

I was actually genuinely upset to find that NickKnows had ceased trading. I bought from them before and was pleased with the deal and treatment I received. Look! - I even included them in my Other Links section to the right hand side [gone now, obviously]. I was frustrated to find that there was no explanation for the disappearing business - although there is no obligation to announce any reason, of course.

I still find the high asking price for the defunct domain names quite amusing. But maybe they got their price, in which case they are the happy ones.
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